


Want

by GetOutOFMyTreeNovice



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-25
Updated: 2013-09-25
Packaged: 2017-12-27 15:28:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/980575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GetOutOFMyTreeNovice/pseuds/GetOutOFMyTreeNovice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oops I angsted.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Want

And then he was right there, too close as usual, but maybe he was a little closer then usual, or maybe it was the intimacy of the situation. Dean was starting to panic because intimacy was dangerous. It was letting emotions out and unguarding what was left of his heart and letting Cas in. It was allowing his heart to break a bit when a touch was too gentle or a gaze too loving. Dean's let in people before. It's only left him torn apart on the inside when he was ripped from them and cut off when his family had to leave. But this was different, he told himself. Cas is different. He won't leave. There's no risk. Cas wouldn't hurt him. Cas was his angel.  
  
But here he was. Too close, eyes too wide and too trusting. Castiel's hand was suddenly on the scar on Dean's arm and Dean shivered and closed his eyes because he couldn't stand to look at the open honesty on Cas' face, the pure love in those eyes. It broke his heart to pieces and it made his chest ache. This shouldn't be happening. Cas was falling because of him and the angel loved him. Cas loved him without really understanding this kind of love. He loved Dean completely and he immersed himself without caring that Dean was damaged and might not be able to love him back. Castiel dove right in and didn't seem to mind if he drowned.  
  
And that broke Dean's heart more.  
  
And now Cas was leaning closer, his eyes searching Dean for any sign of anything and Dean didn't give him it. Cas would have to do it without knowing whether Dean wanted or not. Because Cas did things for Dean because he loves him and he wants Dean to be happy. And Dean knew, he still knows, and he wants Cas to do this because he wants.  
  
But Cas is an Angel. Cas is a young angel and he isn't like his brothers. He doesn't understand humans. He has emotions but he doesn't understand them or why they hurt him. He takes it in stride because he's strong. And Dean can see it all but he can't do anything.  
  
So Cas pulls back and makes a slightly pained expression because he does want, but he doesn't understand. And he won't do anything that he doesn't know Dean won't want. Dean knows. But Dean's afraid of intimacy so he won't do anything about it. He wants Cas to kiss him, to take everything and rip him apart to piece him back together, but he won't move this ahead. He wants Cas to.  
  
And so it cycles again.


End file.
